cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
