Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
