so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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