4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
