You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My pussy is not your playground.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
