so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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