that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
