i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
