At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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