Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Drake has all the answers
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
