I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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