i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
