O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
