Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
