I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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