you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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