Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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