Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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