Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize