One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize