i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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