You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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