We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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