"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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