Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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