So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
