i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
