No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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