he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
