you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
