Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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