Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
