well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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