It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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