so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
