VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
