i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Do vagina's smell?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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