i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
