Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
