some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
