Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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