guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
