just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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