No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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