Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

hey call me

(810): View more from Michigan

can't. in the shower.

(734): View more from Michigan

... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.

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(416): View more from Ontario

I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.

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(661): View more from California

Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

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(860): View more from Connecticut

im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job

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(801): View more from Utah

He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.

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(248): View more from Michigan

No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist

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(407): View more from Florida

I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN

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