I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
