you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
