Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
