she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
