margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
