It's Friday. Sex?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
