You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize