The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
