if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
