My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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