I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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